“When your fear touches someone’s pain, it becomes pity. When your love touches someone’s pain, it becomes compassion.” ~Steven Levine
The impact that losing a loved one has on our lives is greatly under appreciated in our society. In fact, this type of loss usually has a deeply profound effect and sometimes overwhelms our capacity to function normally in our everyday life. Even though we know that death is a fact of life, when it personally touches our lives, we commonly feel unprepared by the effects of grief. In reality, the journey through grief can at times bring us to our knees. The pain and deep sadness of loss can be unbearable, and if death happens unexpectedly or too soon, the effects on our lives can be traumatic. Grief also has a torturous way of putting us face to face with the limits of our ability to control life.
In our society, grief makes people very, very uncomfortable. As you are grieving, even the most well-meaning people will struggle with what to say to you and how to support you. You may find yourself feeling alone, misunderstood and marginalized. It is true that grief is a natural reaction to deep loss, although the intensity in which grief overtakes your life can be beyond anything you could ever imagine.
There is help and you don’t have to go through this alone. Grief counseling can become your sanctuary as you allow yourself to grieve, in a place of safety, compassion and acceptance for your entire experience. Every person’s grief experience is unique and should be respected as so.
The early days, months and even years of grief can be filled with deep sadness and confusion. As time moves on, you may struggle with adjusting to this new “normal”. The role you had in relation to the person who has died has now been changed. You may find yourself questioning what your purpose is now that your beloved is not here. You may feel sad a lot of the time, prone to sudden crying spells that seem to never end. Your attention and ability to focus may be compromised. All of these experiences are normal aspects of grief but it feels so awful that we think there must be something wrong, or that we are doing something wrong.
Many people find it very difficult to adjust to life without their loved one and may even feel at times as if they are “going crazy”. Perhaps your loss was many years ago and yet, you feel that your grief needs some attention. There is no time limit to when you can begin attending to your grief.
Complicated grief happens when our grief process is held up or stuck in some way. Some losses such as death by suicide, murder, accidents and the loss of a child can be especially difficult and can cause additional trauma for the survivors. Grief counseling can help you work through the trauma in a safe and supportive way, while overcoming any barriers to your healing process.
Bereavement and Grief services provided:
I bring to our work a background of extensive training, personal experience and over 5 years of specifically working with clients through grief and loss challenges.
- Individual grief counseling: Starting with where you are at and working at your own pace, I offer a non-judgmental, compassionate and supportive presence through your grief process. Grief counseling can begin days or even years after your loss. For many people, the first year is spent in shock and simply surviving the loss. As time moves on, sometimes years later, a deeper process of inquiry into loss may begin to arise. For many people, having a witness through their grief can be very powerful and healing.
- Grief and Nature workshops: Nature can offer deep comfort during grief and can be a catalyst for healing. Workshops are held outdoors in a natural setting and consist of guided meditation, group sharing and nature-related rituals to facilitate your connection to the natural world as a potentially healing presence through your grief journey. Please contact me to learn of any upcoming Grief and Nature workshops.
Please see my list of resources for grief and loss on my Resources Link.
You can read about my personal experience of grief and loss on my blog post here
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen”. -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross